Okay folks, gather 'round, gather 'round!

This one is a high-end model. He's had a few scraps and mishaps, but he's in relatively perfect condition.

You won't get anything else like this out here folks! The perfect show, in your hand!

Isn't that machine a killer?

...What's that? No, he would never... if you saw that... well, that'd explain why I was up here, wouldn't it?! But it's just out of the goodness of my heart, y'see???

I heard he hurts little children.

I wouldn't... no, he wouldn't, he's good with the...

Mike, when are you going to wake up and realize the people you're hurting?

Ohhhh, Lord...